Websites and email can only do so much … it was great to have so many friends and neighbors in the Bernards High auditorium … face-to-face.

For those of you that missed it, here are my thoughts on the discussion last night. You will see other posts from other members of HOP about their experience and take-aways.

Daryl Brewster gave us the 3 Rs: Reality, Reset expectations, Re-energize. It was a theme of his that what worked for corporations in challenging times also worked at the personal level for us as individuals. Step 1 find and face what the reality is. You may even need to ask for help to get to step 1. That’s ok.

I won’t repeat Peter’s story which he’s already posted. But he did share examples of how we were putting faces, for example Pam Mastro’s, the Somerset County Mental Health Administrator, in front of the phone numbers in directories and on websites.  We’ve been learning ourselves, that there are lots of resources available, and we at HOP will help you find them.

Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps, a local psychologist in Basking Ridge, opened a window for us on how to see stress and anxiety. When we’re sick with worry … that can mean literally we are sick.

Do we have fear or anxiety … for no apparent reason?

Do we find no joy in life?

Marriages in trouble often go 6 or 7 years, before, at the brink, spouses reach out for help.  We should find a way to reach out before we’re at the brink, or dialing 911, or sitting in an emergency room …

We are easily very generous and compassionate to neighbors, can we be that compassionate with ourselves?

Make becoming compassionate your goal.

Some comments I noted from the community:

• The nation is going through too much change, too fast …
• Was this really a crisis?  Or was it individuals facing pain, suffering?
• Talked about the sources of the crisis: greed, spending more than we had  … that this was beyond an economic downturn, this was about values.   There was one comment about the value in values.
• It was very empowering to ask for help.
• Fear pulled the rug out.
• Worrying is praying for something bad to happen.
• Offer concrete ways to help.  And example Leslie mentioned was offering to buy groceries for a mother under too much stress.  And by offering that tangible help to another, you are also helping yourself.
• You have a choice.  Choose life or don’t choose it.

Towards the end, I volunteered, and I reiterate that here–if anyone needs help navigating the various paths to help, I, and the members of HOP, will help.  (I said help 3 times in one sentence.  Little heavy handed I guess.)